“Why do I feel like no one cares?”

Dannielle Says:

Probably because you don’t care?

There was a point in my life where I just didn’t give any shits about anything and it made everything around me seem stupid. I was uninspired, unmotivated, sleepy almost ALL THE TIME, and convinced that no one cared enough. I took a step back, looked at my dumb old life and made a drastic change. I moved to a completely different city, started to ACTUALLY work on shit I cared about, made plans AND KEPT THEM, and began working toward something bigger than myself.

Life is funny. We’re all convinced that everything is out of our hands. We think we have no control. We just LET things happen as if we have no choice. BUT YOU GUYS, we do have a choice, and we can take control.

Take a moment. Think about what you really want and go for it. Once you’re focus is on something you’re passionate about everything else will begin to make sense. Show the people you love how much you love them. Spend time getting to know YOU. Write your feelings down. Figure out what’s making you feel lost and fix that shit. You do have control and people do care. Once you’re in a better frame of mind, that will all become a lot more clear.

Kristin Says:

It could also be because you are looking for “care” in only one form.

I am a person who cares about things and feelings and people and moments and all the things all the time, and I love that about myself. I also know that sometimes I fall victim to expecting people to express their care for me or about me or for life in the same ways that I express my own care.

Let me clarify a little more. When I care about a person I tell them 40 – 178 times each day. When my sister cares about someone she gives them the middle finger. When my mom cares about someone she sends them an e-card with dramatic music. When my best friend cares about someone she says a few succinct phrases that convey her love. People care all the time and in hundreds of thousands of different ways – and so, when you look for the compassion of others, you have to look in the nuances of their behavior.

Not everyone is going to care all of the time, but everyone cares some of the time – and a lot of us care most of the time. It is easy to be discouraged by a world that communicates values based on monetary possessions and superficial looks. It is easy to get overwhelmed. I can tell you, though, as a person who goes about every day of my life being kind and expressing my care for other human beings – those actions open up the care and compassion in others that hinges just on people being their best selves.

You may have just gotten a little lost, and that is completely understandable. Try to listen to us, though, because we can promise you that people do care. Most of them just need the chance to show you.



You are already paying attention to what is happening in your brain and heart, and that is the best thing you could ever do. Not unlocking it all is okay. Be patient, and enjoy the ride.
kristin russo x

You are a real person. Your feelings are real and valid and fucking amazing.
kristin russo x

People like people like people like PEOPLE.
kristin russo x (via thesparkbeforethedark)

“I do this thing where I date people and make them really happy but then one day I get bored and walk away. Its not out of malice but I keep on leaving people heartbroken after being treated so well for no better reason than I got bored. I feel like such a shitty person because of this but I don’t know what to do to change it. HELP?!” - Question submitted by fluffynoodle

Dannielle Says: 

It’s so weird because my instinct is to let you know you’re not a jerk and you can’t help how you feel. I mean, what are you supposed to do?? You can’t fake feelings and you can’t continue a relationship wherein you’re not happy!

I think, if I were you, I’d be as honest as possible. We all know there’s a point in a new relationship where you talk about past relationships. WHEN THAT MOMENT COMES, BE HONEST. Instead of saying ‘yea it just didn’t work out,’ tell the truth. Your feelings faded and you have no idea why, things weren’t fun and exciting anymore, you didn’t see yourself with the person and it seemed unfair to continue dating.

In some cases, people will be like, “wait, you got bored and gave up” and then they’ll make judgements about you based on your past. Anytime someone makes a judgement about you based on something in the past, things don’t turn out well. In other cases, people will be like, “that’s happened to me before, here’s to hoping we’re not one of THOSE couples” and then you’ll giggle and make out and maybe that relationship will last a lot longer than you thought.

If you’re totally over a relationship and you’re being kind and thoughtful, you’re doing all the right things. If you’re at the beginning of a relationship and you’re being totally honest, you’re also doing all the right things.

Kristin Says:

I think there might be a little more going on here than just “all of a sudden getting bored.” I mean – if you had this happen once, then I would have different advice… but you are explaining this as a pattern that continues to happen, so I think that this warrants some self-reflection.

I agree with Dannielle’s advice on what to do when you are in that situation – be honest, be honest, be honest.

However, what kind of factors lead you into those relationships in the first place? Are you considering the things that you like and want in a relationship when you first enter into one? Are you more concerned with having SOMEBODY to snuggle / makeout / etc with and so therefore putting a little less focus on the longterm things that keep love going? What, exactly, makes you feel bored? Is it the conversations? The sex? The attraction? All of it?

Here’s something to notice: When you described your relationships you said you always “make them really happy,” but… you didn’t say anything about you being happy.

I know that you don’t often turn to an advice site to get asked more questions… so I apologize. However, this is a situation that is bigger than simply being honest with others – this is a situation where you should challenge yourself to be honest with… yourself. Reflect on things. Journal at the start, the middle, and the end of your next relationship. Pay attention to the specifics and start to really pull them apart.

Relationships are an incredible way to get insight into some of the things happening in your brain and heart and head. Be honest. Be kind. Reflect. Work. You will figure it out and things will become a lot clearer and easier to navigate over time.


You are going to fall in love with the greatest human.

thesparkbeforethedark:

Dannielle Owens-reid x


PEOPLE ARE COMPLEX. GENDER IS CONFUSING. SEX IS GREAT. GAVE A NICE DAY.
Kristin Russo

It’s just sex. It’s a weird natural instinct thing that makes our bodies rub together and smash our mouths against one another. IT’S WHATEVER.
Dannielle Owens-Reid

Q
I have found this gem via Kristin's tumblr and I must say I love this blog! I thought I was the only one who loved them more than life
Anonymous
A

Thanks! I’m really trying to do more gifs, but anyone who’s willing to submit-be my guest! I’m sure Dannielle will be more than happy. Spread the word!