You are already paying attention to what is happening in your brain and heart, and that is the best thing you could ever do. Not unlocking it all is okay. Be patient, and enjoy the ride.
kristin russo x

You are a real person. Your feelings are real and valid and fucking amazing.
kristin russo x

People like people like people like PEOPLE.
kristin russo x (via thesparkbeforethedark)

“I do this thing where I date people and make them really happy but then one day I get bored and walk away. Its not out of malice but I keep on leaving people heartbroken after being treated so well for no better reason than I got bored. I feel like such a shitty person because of this but I don’t know what to do to change it. HELP?!” - Question submitted by fluffynoodle

Dannielle Says: 

It’s so weird because my instinct is to let you know you’re not a jerk and you can’t help how you feel. I mean, what are you supposed to do?? You can’t fake feelings and you can’t continue a relationship wherein you’re not happy!

I think, if I were you, I’d be as honest as possible. We all know there’s a point in a new relationship where you talk about past relationships. WHEN THAT MOMENT COMES, BE HONEST. Instead of saying ‘yea it just didn’t work out,’ tell the truth. Your feelings faded and you have no idea why, things weren’t fun and exciting anymore, you didn’t see yourself with the person and it seemed unfair to continue dating.

In some cases, people will be like, “wait, you got bored and gave up” and then they’ll make judgements about you based on your past. Anytime someone makes a judgement about you based on something in the past, things don’t turn out well. In other cases, people will be like, “that’s happened to me before, here’s to hoping we’re not one of THOSE couples” and then you’ll giggle and make out and maybe that relationship will last a lot longer than you thought.

If you’re totally over a relationship and you’re being kind and thoughtful, you’re doing all the right things. If you’re at the beginning of a relationship and you’re being totally honest, you’re also doing all the right things.

Kristin Says:

I think there might be a little more going on here than just “all of a sudden getting bored.” I mean – if you had this happen once, then I would have different advice… but you are explaining this as a pattern that continues to happen, so I think that this warrants some self-reflection.

I agree with Dannielle’s advice on what to do when you are in that situation – be honest, be honest, be honest.

However, what kind of factors lead you into those relationships in the first place? Are you considering the things that you like and want in a relationship when you first enter into one? Are you more concerned with having SOMEBODY to snuggle / makeout / etc with and so therefore putting a little less focus on the longterm things that keep love going? What, exactly, makes you feel bored? Is it the conversations? The sex? The attraction? All of it?

Here’s something to notice: When you described your relationships you said you always “make them really happy,” but… you didn’t say anything about you being happy.

I know that you don’t often turn to an advice site to get asked more questions… so I apologize. However, this is a situation that is bigger than simply being honest with others – this is a situation where you should challenge yourself to be honest with… yourself. Reflect on things. Journal at the start, the middle, and the end of your next relationship. Pay attention to the specifics and start to really pull them apart.

Relationships are an incredible way to get insight into some of the things happening in your brain and heart and head. Be honest. Be kind. Reflect. Work. You will figure it out and things will become a lot clearer and easier to navigate over time.


You are going to fall in love with the greatest human.

thesparkbeforethedark:

Dannielle Owens-reid x


PEOPLE ARE COMPLEX. GENDER IS CONFUSING. SEX IS GREAT. HAVE A NICE DAY.
Kristin Russo

It’s just sex. It’s a weird natural instinct thing that makes our bodies rub together and smash our mouths against one another. IT’S WHATEVER.
Dannielle Owens-Reid

Q
I have found this gem via Kristin's tumblr and I must say I love this blog! I thought I was the only one who loved them more than life
Anonymous
A

Thanks! I’m really trying to do more gifs, but anyone who’s willing to submit-be my guest! I’m sure Dannielle will be more than happy. Spread the word!


When you fall in love with someone else, you fall in love with their nuances. You fall in love with the tiny things that no one else notices that set them apart from everyone else. You struggle with some of the things that might not be a perfect fit, but in the end you always come back to that spiderweb of beautiful things that melts your heart. That is what you need to find within yourself. You don’t have to love every piece of yourself to love who you are. You can have weak spots and fearful moments, but - just as Dannielle said - you have to find the things that you love, and you have to work to keep your focus there and build out from that center of strength.

Surround yourself with people who highlight the good in you and in others.

Be healthy: exercise, eat good food, be mindful of your brain and heart.

Forgive yourself when you feel weak. We all feel weak sometimes.

Remind yourself, as much as possible, that you are strong, you are capable, you are beautiful, and that you have all the things you need to learn to love yourself. I promise you, you do.

Kristin Russo

Stop comparing yourself to others, stop wishing you were better, stop wondering why things are the way they are, and appreciate you. Appreciate all that you have been through, appreciate the strength you have, appreciate your talents, appreciate those times when you make yourself laugh. Make yourself laugh CONSTANTLY. You are incredible, amazing, beautiful, unique, and perfect. Appreciate that you are you.
Dannielle Owens-Reid